The Room

Read this if you haven't heard of it :) the atonement is too cool! I love my savior!!

The Room
By Joshua Harris

In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in a
room. There were no distinguishing features in this room save the one
wall covered with small index card files. They were like the ones in
libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order.
But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly
endlessly in either direction, had very different headings. As I drew
near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one that
read "Girls I Have Liked". I opened it and began flipping through the
cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the
names written on each one.

And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was. This lifeless
room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life. Here
were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a
detail my memory couldn't match.

A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within
me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their content. Some
brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so
intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was
watching.

A file named "Friends" was next to one marked "Friends I Have Betrayed".

The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird. "Books I
Have Read", "Lies I Have Told", "Comfort I Have Given", "Jokes I Have
Laughed At". Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: "Things
I've Yelled at My Brothers." Others I couldn't laugh at: "Things I
Have Done in My Anger", "Things I Have Muttered Under My Breath at My
Parents". I never ceased to be surprised by the contents. Often there
were many more cards than I expected. Sometimes fewer than I hoped.

I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived. Could
it be possible that I had the time in my 20 years to write each of
these thousands or even millions of cards? But each card confirmed
this truth. Each was written in my own handwriting. Each signed with
my signature.

When I pulled out the file marked "Songs I Have Listened To", I
realized the files grew to contain their contents. The cards were
packed tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadn't found the
end of the file. I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of
music, but more by the vast amount of time I knew that file
represented.

When I came to a file marked "Lustful Thoughts", I felt a chill run
through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to
test its size, and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed
content. I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded.

An almost animal rage broke on me. One thought dominated my mind: "No
one must ever see these cards! No one must ever see this room! I have
to destroy them!" In an insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size
didn't matter now. I had to empty it and burn the cards. But as I took
it at one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge
a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find
it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it.

Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot.
Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying
sigh. And then I saw it. The title --- "People I Have Shared the
Gospel With". The handle was brighter than those around it, newer,
almost unused. I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than
three inches long fell into my hands. I could count the cards it
contained on one hand.

And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep that the hurt
started in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and
cried. I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all.
The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must
ever, ever know of this room. I must lock it up and hide the key.

But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him. No, please not Him.
Not here. Oh, anyone but Jesus. I watched helplessly as He began to
open the files and read the cards. I couldn't bear to watch His
response. And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face,
I saw a sorrow deeper than my own. He seemed to intuitively go to the
worst boxes. Why did He have to read every one?

Finally He turned and looked at me from across the room. He looked at
me with pity in His eyes. But this was a pity that didn't anger me. I
dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again.
He walked over and put His arm around me. He could have said so many
things. But He didn't say a word. He just cried with me.

Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at one
end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His
name over mine on each card.

"No!" I shouted rushing to Him. All I could find to say was "No, no,"
as I pulled the card from Him. His name shouldn't be on these cards.
But there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, so alive. The name
of Jesus covered mine.

It was written with His blood.

He gently took the card back. He smiled a sad smile and began to sign
the cards. I don't think I'll ever understand how He did it so
quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last
file and walk back to my side. He placed His hand on my shoulder and
said, "It is finished."

I stood up, and He led me out of the room. There was no lock on its
door. There were still cards to be written.

Week Two: Promptings, Ordinances, Spiders, & the Amish

Dearest Family and Friends,

My week has been pretty good! I have a bunch of notes written down so I wouldn't forget what I wanted to write, so if this seems somewhat out of order and scatter brained... I appologize in advance :)

B! B is an old lady who lives in the same apartment complex as the elders, and she is SO grumpy. People aren't nice here, remember? Well, we decided to heart attack her door! We spent so much time cutting out and writing on hearts that were loaded with compliments. A couple days later, she ran into my companion and I and asked with a smile, "Was it you and your friends who put those sweet messages on my NEIGHBOR'S door?" :) hahahah whoops. Embarrassing. It's fine. She said it was sweet and she likes us now :) 

J is an investigator of ours; super faithful but just doesn't understand that when we teach her, we are telling her that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is the ONLY true church on earth who has the fullness of the gospel. Its a struggle in progress. We taught her the restoration and she is SO ready for the gospel! She is reading the book of mormon and loves it! She is without a job though, and has been for 5 weeks now so prayers on her behalf would be lovely! She needs all the helpl she can get. 

Last P-day we ate at Five Guys and the french fries were from Rexburg. That made me happy :) OH. MY. GOSH. Also, last P-day my companion was getting ready for the day and asked me, "Do I look Amish?" after studying her outfit for a minute, I was like, "Ummm... yeah. You do". She didn't really care though, so we went out to walmart and did some shopping. We both had our hair braided that day and we ran into a lady whom we didn't know in a random isle in the store. She complimented our braids, asking if we did them to each other but we did them ourselves, and then she said, "Oh :) Are you Amish?".... busted up laughing haha maybe you had to be there, but it was hilarious :) 

Fun fact: you know my fear of spiders? Well, did you know that spiders love humidity and there are spiders um.. EVERYWHERE!? Ya. Nobody told me that. It's fine. 

There must be an airport close to where we live because there are ALWAYS airplanes flying day and night. They are super low and super loud! It's really cool, until you're trying to sleep at night. Im used to it though :) 

Cool story. Elder Holland was in the same building as me all day on Sunday! A section of the church was closed off because he was having a meeting somewhere in there. We felt cool :) 

C is another investigator! She is the lady who called us saying she wanted to learn more about our religion. She is golden. We absolutely love her! She is progressing quickly and understanding almost everything we teach her. When she has questions she asks so we are able to help her understand, and she felt the Holy Ghost the other night!! So cool! She's reading the BOM and says she is almost like... enticed to read more. The spirit is good stuff :) In the middle of the lesson on Monday, she was like, "Sister Chandler... are your eyelashes real??" hahah yes ma'am! Thanks dad ;) 

Another cool story real quick. The other day sister Lewis and I were driving around to go teach some people, but everywhere we went felt so wrong. We ended up turning around so many times because we just felt like.. "nope. Not tonight". As we were driving, sister Lewis suddenly turned down a road and parked in front of a few houses. This felt right. Not necessarily like a prompting to go anywhere specific, but it didn't feel wrong. We knocked on a door to a lady from Columbia who does hair! Long story short, she was so open to reading the Book of Mormon and her husband even had one from a loonnngg time ago when they first got married! It was so great! I love when the spirit directs us. It never ends in regret :) 

Friday is my 1 month mark! That was fast.. but super slow at the same time! 

That's all I have time for today. This week wasn't full of cool things like last week, but it was good :) I am constantly counting my blessings and I am happy as ever! Serving a mission has been the best decision I've ever made! I am becoming truly converted and really understanding the gospel in-depth! I absolutely LOVE being a missionary! The gospel changes lives, as it should, and everyone needs it!

Today we went to the temple! It's MASSIVE and so gorgeous!! Dear goodness I was in love with the inside of that place. I love going to the temple :) 

**side note: please excuse any misspelled words. Spell check on my phone was a blessing but now its a curse because I don't have it on this computer. Pathetic I know. I'm buying a dictionary.

I hope all is well with everyone! Have a fabulous week! :)

P.S.- P-day will now be on Mondays unless I say otherwise :)

Love,
Sister Chandler

Pictures: I just love sunsets a lot :)

Week One in the Field

Hello Hello!! 

Okay! So I'll start with the plane ride to DC! :) I totally sat by a nonmember and shared the gospel! haha SO awesome! I was able to share our beliefs and find common ground. She was so sweet and it was fun talking to her :)

The plane ride from Minniapolis to DC was about 2 1/2 hours and remember that punk district leader of mine?? He totally opened up to me and spilled his guts about why he is so mean and he wishes he could be better. I tried to help as best I could and gave him some positive encouragement. When we figured out where our seats were on the plane, we found out we sat right across from each other and he said, "It's fate!" and I was like, 'Yeah fate to not sleep. You're going to talk my ear off the whole time!" and he did. But I think he needed to so it was fine! EXCEPT!!! For some reason he found it okay to shake my hand and slip a note in that handshake?! The note said, "Write me in 18 months. It's fate!"...... ?! No. I didn't even know what to do. hahah awkward.

Anyway, once we landed, President and Sister Riggs were there to pick us up! :) They took us on a tour around DC and we went back to their place for the night! We had a little devotional that nobody could stay awake through, and I slept like a baby :) President Riggs interviewed everyone that night, and when it was my turn he looked at me seriously. He said, "Sister Chandler. I have been worried about your arrival". **Concerned look on my face** He continued, "We always put pictures of incoming missionaries up on a wall, and we had to take them down because everyone kept coming to see 'Sister Chandler'... now.. don't tell me you have a boyfriend?" Immediately I was like, "He's serving in Cambodia right now actually! :)" A wave of relief washed over President Riggs as he said, "Good! Advertise that would you?? And tell your companion to help you advertise the fact that you have a boyfriend! The elders will back off and then refocus". Umm... okay! :) hahah Nooooo problamo President! :)

The next morning I met my trainer!! Her name is Sister Lewis! She has been out for only 3 months now but she is SO wonderful!! I learn so much from her and she has the same personality as me so we get along SO well! :) I have been blessed with wonderfull companions so far. Sister Lewis has a super amazing singing voice! She could do broadway if she wanted to! I always try to sing just as good when we sing hymns, but it never happens haha :) I love her!

We immediately went tracting that night!! It was crazy!!! People here are frankly rude, and when you smile at someone in Walmart, it's like you're wearing a sign on your head that says, "Glare at me". Don't smile at people in Walmart. (Don't worry, I do anyway) :) Tracting was weird at first because as soon as the door would open, every thought I previously had about what to say, completely vanished. I was like, "Uh......." hahaha this is why we have companions ;)

I'll be honest. The first 4 days in the field were ROUGH. I truly felt so inadequate to do this work, and I was getting homesick real quick. It wasn't until Sunday night that everything suddenly turned around! Long story short, we went to see a 15 year old investigator. His dad does NOT approve of us coming to talk with his son, so instead of calling ahead, we just stopped by. The mom answered the door and happily let us in! We were having such a good discussion with Joe (the investigator) and the spirit was so strong, and then BOOM! Dad storms down stairs saying, "Oh hello! Joe failed to tell me you were coming this evening!" Immediately I was like, "Oh he didn't know! I'm new to the area and Sister Lewis was just showing me around. We thought we'd stop by and introduce myself!" He firmly shook our hands and sat at the table. "So Joe! What have you learned that you didn't already know??" Poor Joe. I felt so bad. He told his dad some things we had discussed and we ended up having a super long lesson with his dad! By the end of the night, his dad asked if we could end with prayer! Um of course we can!? So get this. In his prayer he asked if the Lord would, "Plant the seeds that these sweet sisters have planted, and bless them to grow"..... um sir.... do you know what you just asked for?? hahah YES!!! What began as a super intense, 'get out of my house' ended to be a confident hand shake with the dad saying, "Thank you Sister Chandler!" and then we were invited over for dinner.

Miracles happen.

It rained all day and the clouds in the evening looked like mountains!! So beautiful!

Another lady we are teaching is super faithful! She is a single mom, currently unemloyed, and possesses an ENORMOUS amount of faith!! She warned us that if we were trying to convert her, we were waisting our time. But I just told her we would love to simply talk about Jesus Christ and the blessings we notice day by day. Nailed it. She called us the next day and said, "Can you come over toady?? I just loved the verse you shared with me, and I feel like God is keeping me unemployed so that I can grow closer to Him. I feel like He sent you to me". WHAT?! Is this real life?! She talked about her blessings, and we always have awesome conversations with her! I love her. I love our investigators so much! This gospel is true! Everybody needs the fullness of the gospel and that is why I am on a mission. I love being a missionary :) We have a lesson scheduled on Saturday with her and her boyfriend! Hopefully we will be able to help him too.

After a member lesson the other night, we got a phone call from a lady we barely know saying, "I am interested in your religion and would love to learn more! Can I feed you dinner and if you teach me??" YES! Of course! :) I love being a missionary! My frist week was rough, but the blessings and miracles that come from diligently working are amazing. I love my savior.

Entertaining fun fact: We have an investigator who prays to his cats. This will be fun.
OH. My. Gosh. On wednesday it was Centrevill Day, so a ton of booths are set up and we had one! A lady made the DC temple out of PAPER!! It was amazing. Anyway, great missionary opportunity!

My companion and I passed by an Islamic booth and a guy there was like, "sisters! sisters! Do you know a sister Jordan?? She taught me in 2008ish. I want to talk to you!" SWEET! we thought. We are always all about helping and teaching others! Well, this guy with a massive beard looked us dead in the eyes and said, "Sisters. I'm sorry. I'm sorry but you're wrong. My religion is true! I'm sorry. The only prophet since Jesus Christ is Mohammad, and you need to read the Quaran!" He told me I believed in polagmy? haha I was like, "Woah! No we don't. We do not support polagmy whatsoever" and he was like, "yes you do!" ...... okay? I was baffeled that he would tell me what I believe? Like.. what?? That was so interesting. Weirdest conversation I've ever had.

The elders in my district are awesome! They all have girlfriends so there isn't any like... weird caution that typically you get around elders. They made me cookies and made me a welcome card! So nice! We can't say we love elders, so we say we have charity for them :) haha 

The houses here are MANSIONS!! I kid you not, my jaw drops, literally, like every day. It's insanity. The weather is humid, but not too bad in the fall. It's pointless to straighten my hair though because it just gets wavy and volumous. Super cute. ;)

I can wear maxi skirts here! So mom, in the spring time, hit me up. Also, the day I met my trainer we watched Meet the Mormons as a mission the day before it came out in theaters! We felt cool. If you haven't seen it I recccommend doing so! :)

I love being a missionary :) Absolutely love it. I love serving the people of Virginia and bringing them closer to their Savior. This gospel is true. There is a true and living prophet on the earth this day who leads and guides us by direct revelation from God. I am a representative of Jesus Christ. I wear his name on my shirt every day! I literally have taken his name upon me. I will always stand firm in what I know to be true, and I will always do my best to bring the lost sheep back into the fold. Heavenly Father loves His children! A lot of people around here don't believe in God, or that He exists at all! So sad. I love being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

I miss my family always! And my best friend. And my missionary, but it'll all be worth it in the end :) (The date I am to return home is April 15, 2016!!) I hope you all stay safe and have a wonderful week! :) Thanks for the love and support :) 

Love,
Sister Chandler

Ps. There is an elder Chan here, and I totally thought of you Katy because of our nicknames... k-chan... k-fur... ya. idk. I thought it was cool :) hahah 

pps. We have a sweet car! It's a 2014!

Like Water in the Desert!

A Word From Kailey's Mom....

I didn't think not hearing from Kailey every day would be that big of deal. After all, we get to email every week back and forth for a while on P-day, and Kailey is a great story teller. I was expecting more of the same. However, I wasn't prepared for the famine of words I'm experiencing. She doesn't have time to tell me every detail of every day. Fortunately, I am not her focus! She is great to send us letters and fill in the missing blanks, I just have to wait for them. I haven't been so excited to run to the mailbox since I was 17 years old and writing to my own missionary friends!

Kailey has left the MTC and has arrived at the mission home for the night. We got to speak to her on the phone from the airport this morning and it was like getting a drink after being stranded in a desert for two weeks! I couldn't get the questions out of my mouth fast enough. My biggest concern was how she was handling the demanding study schedule and the intensity of the training. She said that going to BYU-I for the pre-mission program was the best thing she could've done to prepare for life in the MTC. She didn't feel overwhelmed or unable to meet the demands. She struggled with the repetitive schedule, doing the same thing every day, but she said feeling the spirit made up for it. She said she's never felt the spirit as strong as when she was in the MTC. She receives personal revelation every day regarding what to teach her investigators. She sounded happy and ready to go to work as I listened to her recap her stay.

Kailey's letters are full of funny stories of her laughing with her companions. She says that, "despite the uncontrollable fits of laughter 24/7, I focus when I need to, and my study opportunities are wonderfully uplifting." It's fitting for her to have these experiences in the MTC, or wherever she is, that's just Kailey. She is incredibly social and contagiously happy. I hope that she continues to enjoy the work she is doing and the relationships she is creating with her companions and soon to be investigators.

I am looking forward to hearing about her experiences out in the real world, where she will meet people who aren't interested in being taught about the Book of Mormon or Jesus Christ. And I am interested in hearing about the stories of those who are interested and how the gospel will change their lives! Kailey will be an amazing missionary and a great example of one who carries the light of Christ within her and is willing to share it with anyone who will listen.

Last week at MTC

Hellooooo!! :)

I leave the MTC tomorrow so we get to email today, and guess what? I'm wearing PANTS!! I've missed pants so much!! P-days are golden :)

So pretty much, I love it here. I love being a missionary, and I love the instant spirit you receive as soon as you go to work as a full time missionary! i've never been able to recognize/feel the spirit so much before and I love it!

It's probably THE coolest thing singing the same song with 400 other missionaries at the same time. It gives me chills :). I log when we have devotional here.

Not a ton has happened this week so this won't be a long email, but I do have a couple funny stories for you. My companions and I laugh uncontrollably every single day--like we cry and can't breath because we are laughing so hard; I love it :) 

Okay hilarious story. So I was sitting in devotional on Sunday and an elder behind me tapped my shoulder. He handed me an origami swan and said, "this is for you :)" I was like, "thank you?" :) I saw something was written on the inside but I thought it was notes. So when I got home I opened it up and he had written his email inside. I laughed so hard! Some people's kids. 

Oh before I forget! Mom: I'll probably call you tomorrow morning between like 4 and 5:30am, so sorry not sorry :) My flight leaves at 6 and I have a layover in Minneapolis, so maybe I'll get to talk to you then too! Wake dad up when I call, and maybe even the boys so I can talk to everyone. I know it's early but it's a special occasion I'd say :) 

 I got 2 packages this week and they were WONDERFUL! Thank you!!! 

I also love my jacket and wear it everyday because it's so cold already! I can't wait to get to DC!! TOMORROW baby!!

I have to do my laundry and such so I need to go now, but I love you all! :) Keep sending me letters and emails! I love them! :) the dear elder letters have saved my life! hahah Thanks for those :) 

I love it here! I love being a missionary, and I love my district. Conference was so good as a missionary! The spirit was amazing! I was absolutely spiritually filled this weekend :) I hope you were too! God is good. This gospel is true. This is His work, and I am honored to be able to be a tool in the Lord's hands.

All my love,
Sister Chandler

Life at the MTC

Hello!! :)

Oh my dear goodness SO much has happened since I've been here. 

This is the typical day of a missionary in the MTC:

• Wake up at 6
• Get ready to go to breakfast at 7:15
• Go to class, stay in class for 5 hours
• Go to lunch
• Gym
• Class for another 5 hours
• Dinner
• Class for 3-4 hours
• Then you have 45 minutes before lights out at 10:30. 

I am in a trio so I have 2 companions: Sister Harris (also from Nampa) and Sister Todd (also a dancer). 

They are WONDERFUL! We have become such close friends already and I just love them! Having a companion was difficult for the first couple days because you literally can't go ANYWHERE without them! Like, even to the bathroom haha until you're in your residency hall; I don't need to shower with them standing outside the curtain. I can do personal things like that alone, but they must be within sight AND sound from me.

 
I have SO many stories!!! Random facts: 

• Monday was rough, so I bought Nutter Butters, and my neighbor gave me her birthday flowers haha :)  

• These are sticky notes from MY zone training leaders that they left on our door. 

• As of day 2 here at the MTC I was called as the zone sister training leader (whaaattt??!), travel leader for my district, and the music coordinator for my ward at the MTC.

• A british bloke asked for my email! I informed him that I was seeing someone but that didn't matter to him haha gross. I didn't give it to him. No worries. 

• My companions and I can rap! It's sick. We're so good. 

• I take advantage of gym time to stretch and run a mile! It's a nice break from the spiritually filled day. Don't get me wrong, I love it! But sometimes you need a sanity break to at least remember your first name.

My companion and I wear our dance team shirt from the same year to the gym!

• My curling iron broke!! It's sad. 

• I saw Kalin Lister the first day here and flipped out! Hand shakes are lame when you're so excited to see a familiar face. I've seen him a good amount of times since, as well as the night before he left! Good luck, pal! You're going to do so good :)

I'm mimicking a picture Christian took at the temple when he was in the MTC,
but I'm not sticking my tongue out like he did hahah (love you :))

My district has 5 elders and just us 3 sisters! I was having trouble focusing the fist few days so I asked for a blessing from one of the elders and I am SO much better!! I have felt the spirit in more ways here at the MTC than I EVER have! It's so cool!! 

A letter from my punk district leader that gave me a blessing!
He's so mean to me, but it was a very spiritual experience. 

We have taught so many investigators, and the spirit has been so strong! I learn so much! The teachers are WONDERFUL! I love it here! No stress AT ALL. It's fabulous :) 

We really have to watch our language and actions while being here on a mish. I can't say "totes", "pee", "probs", "crap", "guys" etc. and we can't give the elders high fives? ya idk. So just two thumbs up I guess!! 

I've learned that obedience is key! EXACT obedience I might add. D&C 4:3 I think? The verse that says if you have a desire to serve God, then you are called. I read that in the temple this morning (my companions and I went) and realized that I wasn't just called because I put my papers in, but because I had a desire to serve! I was called long before I put my papers in, and I felt it. I knew it. That's why I just did it :) I am becoming personally converted! Elder Bednar gave a devotional called, "The Character of Christ" and in it he stated that, "It's not enough to have a testimony. If you don't become personally CONVERTED to the lord, you WILL fall away eventually". That was intense. I am trying my hardest to learn as much as I can and become converted to my Savior :) I love Him!!

I miss my best friend, and my family, and my missionary, but it's all worth it :) Thanks for all the emails!! I had 29 when I logged on hahaha Just a heads up; it's easier for me to respond to letters compared to emails, so the more hand written letters the better :) 29 Emails and 1 hour to email stresses me out. I can't read them all!!

Thanks for the love and support! I love being a missionary!! I keep seeing name tags on everyone and think, "Oh my gosh I want one so bad!.... Oh wait! I have one!" hahah it took me a while to get used to that :) 

I need to go! But just know that I am feeling the blessings and prayers and spirit every single day. THANK YOU! I love this work :)

Love,
Sister Chandler

It all begins at the MTC!

• More than 80,000 members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints are currently serving as full-time missionaries. 
• Sister missionaries dedicate 18 months to missionary service. 
• They are called to serve in one of 334 missions in approximately 120 different countries around the world. 
•  As representatives of the Church, missionaries believe that people throughout the world can obtain life's greatest happiness from following the teachings of Jesus Christ.
• The Provo MTC is well known for its language teaching program. Approximately 50 languages are taught at the Provo MTC. The teaching staff is composed largely of former missionaries, who are well acquainted with missionary life. 

DAY ONE: September 24, 2014

She's finally here. She's been waiting for two years for this day! 

 And there she goes! 

See you in March of 2016, Kailey!  We love you.